I am here, now.

I am running out of random pictures to put on me blogs. I guess this means that I need to document some more adventures. I love adventures. I think I am a Yellow, I am motivated by fun. I haven't been on an adventure in a while. The last one was probably when I went with Gentri to the Salt Lake Temple and we got a flat tire on the free way. Then, on our way home we decided to take Redwood and ended up on the wrong side of Saratoga Springs. Is there a right side of Saratoga Springs?
Its Saturday night. I am sitting home, typing a blog. That's okay though, it is what I want to be doing. I really believe that we get what we want and whatever our situation is in life is what we wanted. It's a hard pill to swallow. We get what we desire, and we desire what we think about most. If we our finding ourselves lacking initiative in carrying out our rightous desires, it is because they really aren't true desires. This is all from a book I was reading last night called, "Drawing on the Powers of Heaven". A great book indeed.
I create my own limitations because of my lack of faith. I tell myself that, "Oh, this is going to take a long time" or "Oh this is going to be so hard". And you know what, it always does take a long time and it always is hard when I tell myself that. I am not trying to preach. I cannot do that. Everyday is a battle for me and sometimes I lose. I am past the point of being able to say that every day I have sober is a victory. That is not who I am anymore, I am not going to live a great life compared to the life I chose to live previously. I am going to live a great life. Period.
Last Sunday, as I met with my Stake President, I told him about my horrific past and all the worst parts. It was not enjoyable, but I was able to do it with relative ease because I know that is not who I am anymore. When I got done he looked at me and smiled and said, "That is not the person you are anymore, I never knew that person and I will never know him." He then told me that I don't ever have to, and probably never should share that again. Heavenly Father doesn't want me to look back on that. If I am spending more energy on the past then I am in the present, than I will be in turmoil. The past isn't just a year ago, it is also a month ago, a day ago, an hour ago.
I will not be like Lott's wife. I will not look back. "Courage Bretheren! And on, on to the victory!"