My brain won't listen to me. I tell it to stop thinking about girls and its responds by thinking of girls. Why do I feel this incessant need to be liked? I know that part of it stems from insecurities and wanting to be validated. All you have to do to be validated by a girl is buy True Religion jeans, it really isn't that hard. It never makes me feel better. Self esteem doesn't come from having lots of people like you. Self esteem comes from being true to yourself, it comes from making commitments and keeping them. It comes from doing something after the initial motivation is gone.
I AM leaving to go on a mission soon. I know it and satan knows it. He knows where I am weak and he knows that this is the most pivital time in my life. It is not just me at stake anymore. I am going on mission to spread the Good News that you don't have to let satan rule your life, and that you can be forgiven for all the things you did while you were letting satan rule your life. It is not just drug addicts and criminals that need to change their lives either. Everyone must experience a change of heart.
There are certain things that other people can do and be happy that I can't. I am grateful for this. I have to be extremely sensitive now. I have to thrust evil out of me life in all of its forms. Insecurities are another form of pride. If I think that I am not good enough, than I am in effect saying to the Lord that His atonement isn't good enough. It is good enough.
I am not buying that "boys will be boys". I am not buying "Your a 21 year old kid and it is normal". I don't want to be normal. I don't want to be just another boy. So why do I act like one so much of the time? It is because I am lazy, afraid and unwilling. But more than that I am faithful, fearless and diligent. That is because the Lord is on my side.
This next month and a half or so is going to be wonderful, but it is going to be hard. I can already tell. Opourtunities will present themselves and I will be tried. But you know what? The only way I can grow is by overcoming and I love growing. So, bring it on.
2 comments:
Well said Taylor I am so excited for you to be able to go and do the things that you want to do. I completely agree that the times you feel best about yourself is when you discover your true character, and you are pleased. Sticking to your commitments and following through after the initial motivation has subsided are qualities of someone who has developed the character of a person with Integrity! I am so proud of you good luck!
Wonderful. :) You will do a great job and you will be so happy because of it. You're an amazing person.
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