The Dreaded Bunny Hump

After staying up to an obnoxiously late hour, having viewed several disturbing images including a man in some kind of painters suspenders doing some unspeakable acts on an obese woman in a cage, I have come to the conclusion that I am not going to meet my future wife at 80's night. I believe it was some time between getting sandwiched in the middle of a bunch of sweaty dudes with there shirts off, and getting goosed by someone who, despite the overwhelming evidence, I can only hope was a woman, that I decided I might just be too old for this kind of thing. Maybe too old is the wrong term. Maybe I am just finally growing up? Nah. I still play with G.I Joes in the bathtub.
It is good though, to have these moments. They are Ah Ha moments and they are the forks in the road. I am not saying that 80's night is horrible or that it would ruin my life, or that I am too cool for it, I am not even saying that I didn't have fun. But more than anything it just made me sad. Immodest girls doing immodest things with guys who don't see them as girls but as objects for their own instant gratification and validation. I know because I have been there, I was one of those guys. As a disclaimer let me just say that there was probably some fairly wholesome girls there as well. To be frank, though, there is nothing wrong with dancing but I would say that it is impossible to go there and not at least see several things that make the spirit run for the hills.
I remember standing there at one point and it just clicked. This is not me. This is not who I am anymore. I had no desire to do anything with these girls except maybe help them. I wanted to tell them all to have some respect for themselves. I wanted to tell them that it didn't matter what they looked like on the outside or how big that guy in the pink tights muscles were that is dancing on you. Wow, while I'll admit that I am still in the shallow end of the pool, I think that my water just got a little bit deeper.
I can't go to a dance these days without being reminded of a bunch of frantic rabbits going around humping each other during mating season. I am sorry that was probably a little to discriptive but that is seriously what its like. It is not dancing. I admit that I don't know how to dance and I usually just wiggle my body and try to look like as much of an idiot as possible, making sure that I am always on the move so I am not pinpointed and targeting to participate in the dreaded bunny hump. I wondered what I was doing there in the first place. I would much rather be grinding handrails.
So I have moved into a new era of my life. I suppose you could cut my life into two pieces; "Pre-80's" and "Post-80's". Ahhhh. It feels good to be here. The air is sweet. There is no sweaty 18 year olds. Right. Now with the help of a deleted face book account, I can go and live my life. Or rather, atleast for the next 30 minutes, I can read Hunger Games and live the life of Katniss vicariously. That's cool too. I suppose that could be a whole nother blog, but I will say that because of Katniss, I fashioned my own bow and arrow that shoots drum sticks. Carpe Diem my friends.